I am not that person anymore.
I don’t think the things that I used to think. I don’t say the things I used to say. Those thoughts have been replaced with goals, plans, and visions for my future. Those words have been replaced with silence from my inner guidance.
I now spend my time working on myself, prioritising what is important to me.
Do I ever have ‘off’ days? Absolutely.
Do I get back on it? Fucking right, I do.
I am dealing with 49 years of bullshit beliefs, feelings of rejection, loss, grief, depression and am kicking each one of those on their arse.
I am absolutely focused and determined that by the time I reach my milestone birthday, in December, that I will have finally become someone that I can be proud of, and, more importantly, that my family can be proud of.
I have come so far and I now feel pity where anger used to reside. I look back and know that the people and circumstances were not down to me and I am thriving in spite of those things.
I have clarity and compassion and a level of understanding that is unlike anything I have ever known before. In the past, I always looked for the negative in any situation, or the way to create the most drama.
Roll forward 4 months and I am waving goodbye to the old me. I already do not recognise that person.
What a way to celebrate a birthday.
I don’t need balloons, (they are bad for the environment), I was going to say I don’t need cake, but everyone needs cake. I don’t need a fuss or gifts, because all I want is to be surrounded by my nearest and dearest.
I am looking forward to saying goodbye